I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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