now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
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And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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