Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize