Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize