my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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