porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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