found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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