why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize