I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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