she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize