I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
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We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
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And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize