I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
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I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
soo... how was my night?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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