i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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