we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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