So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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