I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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