I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize