she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
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I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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