I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
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I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
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Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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