I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize