Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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