My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The air was thick with penises
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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