i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
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