she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize