i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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