p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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