THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
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She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
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You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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