You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize