I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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