Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I am midnight drunk by noon
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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