apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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