she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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