I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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