Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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