is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
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I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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