You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize