I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize