dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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