by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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