I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize