I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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