Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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