Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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