I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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