stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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