i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
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