I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize