The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
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I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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