I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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