Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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